#FoodTok is Tweaking...
TikTok's Weirdest Health Food Trends Cause a Stir Online
Earlier this week, I sat down to watch some videos on TikTok to get inspiration for the healthy food I was going to try and prepare for my family this week. What I got in return for my valuable time were some of the most horrendous “health hacks” I have ever had the lucidity to witness:
Many TikTok celebs are brewing tea with the butts of their overpriced influencer joints.
TikToker “DaisyMaeCooks” stated that she saves the last 5th of her “broccoli sticks” to make a tincture with a bag of black tea, honey, and lemon. She swears the home remedy works wonders on a sore throat, frequently given to her courtesy of the process of procuring the ingredients. This “Humboldt Fog” trend drives record engagement on the platform, even with people who don’t enjoy their “special ingredient”.
Another influencer, “RadneyRips” swears the “sweet leaf”-infused ginger beer he proudly represents works wonders on a sour or upset stomach. Ginganja has health nuts swearing off kombucha, or scrambling to make their organic stoney ginger bugs to quickly capitalize before what may be a flash in the pan goes “up in smoke”.
A third #FoodTok-er, “CheebaDemonDave,” does an ASMR review channel that reviews over-the-counter medication. On Tuesday, he published sponsored content to his “CheebaMD” show extolling the virtues of a THC-enhanced acetometaphen product he called “Highlenol”:
“Never before have I seen a product that, if ingested early in the process, could stop even a migraine in its tracks. I had to bring this to you before it ended up on store shelves all over the country”.
Some detractors have said that the products these influencers represented already work this way without the added effects of the included Hippie Calories. The sales numbers of these boutique and bespoke mind-altering substances do not support this seemingly commonsense take, as boutique tetrahydrocannabinol products continue to soar.
The sage advice of a Redditor who has chosen to remain anonymous reminds us:
Rule 420 of The Internet: If it exists, there is weed of it.
These products put “Satan’s Sassafras” at the forefront of otherwise very suitable products, betraying the lie of TikTok influencing as a whole, and eroding the trust brands assume we should have in those who seek to influence us. We here at the Mind Salad won’t stoop to such tricks.
We will be right back after this brief message supporting today’s program.
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These ridiculous trends buried deep beneath the glitzy glizzies of #FoodTok are a threat to at-risk communities and CHILDREN all over America, and they MUST be stopped. They are just shipping drugs to anyone who will buy without age verification or a background check. First, youths worldwide will be curing their hangovers with “Highlenol” and doing the “Hubmoldt Fog Challenge” for attention online, and then BAM! they’re selling their kidneys to the CCP for a 30-rack of Ginganja.
I don’t see China doing anything about any of this. I’ve never seen “DaisyMaeCooks”, “RadneyRips”, “CheebaMD” or Xi Jinping in the same place at the same time.
Have you?
That’s all for TikTok Sucks, The Podcast, brought to you by Canna-ICE, the America-First Cannabinoid-Amphetamine. We’ll return next week with 5 Common Sense Reasons to Uncircumcise Your Significant Other this Easter!
Thanks everyone. Goodnight.
This stuff drives me insane...Eat meat from local farms and vegetables that are in season. If it has a label, don't eat it. Done. That's all there is to it.